Check this out if you are planning to marry
Friday, March 14, 2008
As choice is concerned when it got to marriage, I think it is deem fit for us to reason together once again about the spouse we desire to marry. So many people find it difficult to make a choice of their own.
It is not that they do not know what they want or not having a choice but intermediary is another challenging obstacle that does not give way to pass. But you still have a better standing choice if you want to move on since it is your life. What is the choice? Leap! You are to skip any debacle on the road that will hold you behind for any unexpected or unforeseen circumstances that surrounded your desire.
Okay, choosing our spouse is one of the most significant decisions we will ever make in life. The person you choose to wake up next to each morning has the power to determine the quality of your life. The important is that one decision that a lifetime of trying to force the relationship to work with the wrong person is usually extremely difficult.
But regardless of how two people meet, "caution" is a wise motto. So as a marriage bound couples, consider the following suggestions before making a life-long commitment.
Make sure the decision is your own: first and foremost, the heaviest responsibility by far for the selection of a great marriage partner rests with the two people who are considering one another. Only the two persons directly involved will have to live daily with the consequences of this choice, and it is only they are in a position to make a fully informed decision about the rightness of their relationship.
Verify your partner’s emotional health: If either partner has "any" concern about the personality behaviour of the other, they never should expect that this concern will simply dissolve overtime. When you choose to marry, you are implicitly stating that you are willing to live happily with the other person for as long as you both shall live if nothing about the other person ever improves.
Consider the advice of friends and family: If anyone who knows you well, whether they are a family member, friend, minister or even a well meaning acquaintance, have real concerns about your match with a particular person, listen to these concerns with extreme care. Sometimes we have blind spots that can only be seen by others.
When another person knows us well, they often can bring a new and meaningful perspective about us and our relationships; this perspective is frequently more accurate than we at first may think it to be.
Don’t Rush to the altar: Do not be overly eager to get married we all know how exciting it is to find a person we believe to be our soul mate., and when we think it has finally happened for us, we want to rush immediately toward the full expression of our love which is one of the reasons there are lot of people rushing in and at the same time rush out.
But it is wise counsel for couples to take their time, and I will say that a bad mistake is a thousand times more devastating than the loss of a few weeks together if you can avoid this "bad mistake" by moving slowly, you will thank yourself thousands of times for your patience and reflection.
Watch for changes in enthusiasm: in making your final decision about marriage, watch especially for signs of internal qualities in yourself or the other person that tend to become obvious when the initial excitement has worn off a little.
For instance after you get to know the other person do you find them listening less and talking more, being more selfish about money and items instead of generous and giving, or beginning to try to take more control over the development of your relationship? These are crucial signs that need to be carefully heeded.
Get professional counseling: Seek pre-engagement counseling talk through every area of your future relationship and, striving to be as relationship and, striving to be an objective as possible, ask your counselor for his or her full appraisal of the "righteousness" for your relationship.
Be completely honest with yourself: Be willing to search for the truths about your relationship remember that this always friendlier than anything less than the truth. Take a step back from the relationship and consider it objectively.
Do you "shine" when you are together? One of the best ways to be honest with yourself is through prayer. The act of conversation with God enables each of us to know not only His will, but our own hearts as well.
Divorced singles often, confess that, deep inside, they knew their marriage wouldn’t work even before the wedding day. You may want desperately to get married but you need to assess the success of your relationship in the long term.
Author: by Yunus S. Saliu