Not going there with you

Monday, December 4, 2006
I was never one to chat in rooms. I could not keep up with the conversations. My intention was to click on profiles, find someone who looked interesting enough to talk one on one to, send them an Instant Message and then get out of the chat room.

One particular night, I saw a screen name in particular. As I clicked on his profile, it had a link to his personal homepage which was titled "A little about me". It had a couple of pics of him, along with a paragraph about himself in which he was very honest.
He stated he had been laid off since June 2001, he was a Design Engineer, had four grown sons from his first marriage, and a six year old daughter from the last one. But being a poetry writer, the thing that got my attention was a story he had written that was posted on his page. So, I decided to IM him and exit the room. We had a nice but brief conversation in which I found out he was from North Carolina, 48 years old, a pilot, and up until being laid off had owned his own airplane. I put him on my buddy list but did not send him a message again until several days later.

We exchanged a couple of emails but did not get into any "real" conversations until the day after the New York attack. I signed on the computer and was looking at pictures of the disaster when I saw him sign on. I was not in a good mood, for not only my personal life, but the world itself seemed to be falling apart. We chatted for quite awhile about the bombings, and then the conversation drifted personal.

There was an attraction between us just from the way we communicated, but when I began telling him of my relationship problems he quickly backed off and stated that he would be glad to be my friend, but that he would not "go anywhere else with me". I had not heard that much from men online and it made me comfortable to open up to him, telling him of things that no one else in the world knew. At one point he said "this is too much writing, we need to get on the phone", which we did.

He restated the fact that he could tell I needed a friend but that there would be nothing else between us as he knew I was in a present relationship. We talked for hours that night, he listened, he advised, we laughed, I cried, and when it was over, neither of us wanted to hang up. I knew before that conversation ends that I had just met the man, the very first man, who would hold my heart in his hands. For the sake of space I must leave out many details, but from that night forward, I never saw or talked to the person I was in a casual relationship with again, nor any other man.

Computer chat progressed to telephone which progressed to plans for a meeting. We had to know if this would be as real in person as it was during hours and hours of talking on the phone (truly communicating). We had both seen pictures of each other, we knew he was 13 years older than me, and we knew that we felt like we were in Love. This was only about a month after our first phone conversation. He planned for the 600 mile drive, and I planned on my life changing forever. When I walked through the door of our planned meeting place, there were no words spoken, we simply walked into each other's arms for what seemed like an hour. But after what was in reality he pulled back, looked into my eyes and said "Yes, you are real".

To bring you up to date: We are now 3 months later in a committed long distance relationship, which is not always easy, but very well worth it, for we are without a doubt, very much in Love. He just got a job after being laid off for 6 months, but he had to relocate to another state which kept him at about the same distance away from me, but much further away from his daughter. After working all week, he left work and drove straight to my house to spend this past weekend. He will do the same next weekend to spend with his daughter. I have two children and we have our children on the same weekends.

It is too soon after my divorce for my children to be ready to meet mom's boyfriend so it works out well with him being here when they are not. But we are now discussing the possibilities of meeting each others children.

We met from hundreds of miles apart, and now we spend every other weekend together in person, and each and every day together in heart. We have headset telephones, and with a free nights and weekend plan, we are able to talk every night and then fall asleep with other on the line. We hear each other breathe, move, turn over just as though we were in the same bed every night.

We are amazed every day by the circumstances under which we met, and the depth to which our relationship and love has grown. Is having a long distance relationship tough at times?...yes...but we have learned a very important lesson about life and about truly loving someone. Contentment is not having what you want; it's wanting what you have. And we have each other.
Author: by Rhonda
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