Lovelines: Read more

Friday, July 18, 2008
Is there no partner for the poor?

Lovelines

I have a friend from the same village. He is a businessman I live  and work with  him, and  he is my boss. He often help me to solve my problems financially, while he always take any of my girlfriends that I bring home or introduce to him because he has money. He is fond of telling me that "girls are for money."  Does this  act and statement means that there is no love for the poor?

Sutu

Not that there is no partner or sincere love for the poor, it is just a coincidence that  the people you loved always end up with your friend because you are staying with him and financially stronger . But looking at things carefully, I think you are always having wrong girlfriends that are in love for money. meaning ‘money for hand,  In brief your friend is not trustworthy. He should not use his position as an advantage over you. As a good friend tell him that you are not happy with  his style. Better still to avoid problems with him, if you know that you can stand on your own, rent an apartment for yourself. But if you cannot, then  stop takning your girlfriend home or introducing them to him. I assure you that  if you get a lady that really love you, she will not consider your friend as human but a traitor and betrayal. Good luck!


She wants me to be serious

Loveline

I am 24 dating a girll of 23.  My girll friend wants me to get serious about her while she is not serious with  me. She often complains about girls visiting and calling me, whilst men do visit and call her anytime. Please tell me if she loves me because I give her my heart 100%.  What can I do?

Lamou

The two of you need  time to sit down and talk to each other about what you like and dislike. Doing that , you will be able to understand and respect each other. There is nothing both of you can do to avoid friends’ calls or visits but it all  depends on the level of maturity between the  two of you. Good luck!

We have sworn to an oath

Lovelines

I am in love with a lady who equally  loved me. We are now confronted by a problem from the girl’s mother because she want her to get marry to a guy she was engaged with  before we met. However both of them do not love each  where as the girl and I have both sworn to an oath to marry each other and I am ready to marry her.

Jumbulu

Although they always say love is blind. Both of you should have thought of what you might encounter in future before you swore to an oath. I will encourage you for the betterment of the two of you that you should revoke this oath before it is too late. If Allah ordained it that you will become husband and wife in future no one can change it but if he said no your oath couldn’t say yes. So think, and think do not let emotion over ride your feelings. Good luck!


Relationship with a lot of quarrels

Lovelines

Our relationship is two years old with a lot of quarrels. I am no longer having any feeling for him. I want us to be ordinary friends but he wont let me be. He said he still loves me when he did not. For the past two years I was trying to make the relation work.

Majula

Such is life, if you know that you really have nothing to do with him because of the frequent quarrels in the relation, then stop going to his house and never  call or text him. At the same time stop receiving his call and don’t reply to his text any more. More so, it is you that will control yourself before him, no one will do it for you. So you are entitle to your personal decision on this matter. Good luck!

He always evade marriage discussion

Lovelines

I have been dating a guy for over four years but he never discussed marriage with me. I am the one that always ask or bring up marriage issue between us and each time I brought up the topic, he will surely evade the discussion. Now I am confused, I do not know if I should leave him or not. I am 25 and he is 27.

Nyama

Obviously he is not ready to marry as at now. There might be a lot of things going on in his mind that is keeping him away from marriage that you do not know. It is not only for you to bring up the issue but ask him the reason why he does not want to marry, probably you might find his reason genuine. So if you know that your utmost now is wedding or marriage, you have your life to live. So make a choice. By the way I also think that it is better that two of you plan strongly before marriage for  a better tomorrow. So try not to be confused. Good luck!

Her husband read my text message

Lovelines

There is a girl that loves me since we were in primary school up to secondary school level. She got pregnant after our WAEC examination and later married. To my amazement this girl still love me. She sometimes call and text me, but I never reply. After series of complaints from her I started to reply to her text messages and calls. Unfortunately her husband read my last text to her and he called me for a discussion, which was centered on my past and present relations with the lady. I don’t know what to do before her husband will take next action since the girl will not stop calling or texting me despitethe fact that iam not calling her.

Alieu

I will encourage you to stop endangering your life. Take it or you leave it, this girl is married no matter how strong love she has for you try as much as possible to keep away unless you do not value your life. Since her husband has played maturity by inviting you for a dialogue it is better you keep a distance. Tell the girl that it is not your intention to be an intruder or bring sorrow to a steady and peaceful family. It is your right, if you want to have your dignity, to tell her husband that you have nothing to do with his wife and he should let bygone be a bygone. So from this moment stop calling her or text her. Look elsewhere if you need a wife or someone to date. Someone with husband will put you in a problem. A word is enough for a wise man. Good luck!

I don’t understand my brother’s babe

Lovelines

I have a brother that love and care for me so much. He always send me credits in order to remain in touch with him. But his girlfriend thinks am dating her boy, she texts me all the time asking the same question despite telling her that he is just a brother. The sad story is that they now have a problem after our last text.

Nyara

The problem is that the lady might not know the extent of relationship between you too. But since you have explained to her on different occasions she supposed to have listened to you and at least believe you for once. But if it is true that there is nothing between two of you try and invite the two together and settle the matter between them. Doing this her mind will be at rest and believe you. Good luck!

I can’t grant his request

Lovelines

I love my boyfriend and I always do everything he request for him. But one thing I do not  accept having affair with him.

What should I do?

Ruth

You have the right to stick to your word. If he loves you as you do love him, he will wait for you till the time you are ready but if he can’t, tell him to look elsewhere if your life and pride is precious to you. Good luck!


How can I quit?

Lovelines

I am 25 and she is 20. Our relationship is almost 3-year. She always sends text to me to express her concern and love for me. Surprisingly I discovered that she is dating another guy that I know. I love her too but now I don’t know how to quit the relation.

Badara

You will be able to quit the relation if you have choice. At the same time determination matters most, because you know what is good for you and what you want from your girlfriend. So decide if really you want to say goodbye to her or you just want to stress her. If really to quit, tell her it is over and stop visiting, calling or texting her and if she  call do not answer her. Good luck!

She tunes him like a radio

Lovelines

My boyfriend is dating another girl, this girl always tune him like a radio. She can call it quit today and tomorrow they will start again. As at now they have broken up but I know sooner or later she will come back again.

Fatou

This is not your  problem since you are ready to continue sharing him with her. If you want him to forget this girl try as much as possible to be more romantic make sure that what the other girl is doing for him you are able to do more than that. Before you know it he will forget her finally. Good luck!

I am pregnant for a respectable boy

Lovelines

I am in love with a respectable gentle boy since the past three years. This boy loves me too much; I am very welcome in his family. His mum can’t do without calling me. But sooner than I thought early this year I discovered that I am pregnant for him. Now I keep my examination free, nobody in the family knows that I am 7-month pregnant except my friends and boyfriend. I have decided to run away to go and stay with a friend till I deliver the baby when I will come back home. The reason for this decision is that if my dad knows about it he will send me away from the house forever.

Nyantcho

I am very surprised with  your foolish decision. If you think  running to your friend will solve the  problem because your father will send you away from his house when he discover that you are pregnant, then, what about when you deliver the child and come back home do you think he will be happy with you and welcome you with open hands to the house? I hope you are not thinking of committing infanticide or baby dumping. If it is true that your so called ‘respectable gentle boy’ love you, why can’t he talk to her mother who can’t do without calling you about what has happened between you ? I want you to discuss it with your boyfriend so that he will talk to his mother who will go and meet your parents about the issue. If you are a good child. It can happen to anyone who is playing the game. This is  why  anybody who  is not ready should not involve. However, if I know your parents I would blame them for not being able to know that a child staying under their roof is 7-month pregnant without their knowledge up t
o date. So do not run a way from home, but try as much as possible to discuss this  predicament with your boyfriend’s mother or your parents, mostly your mother with immediate effect. Good luck!

My cousin raped me I am dying in silence!

Lovelines

Just a month back, my cousin raped me before he travelled to Europe. Since he came back from Europe ,I do not have rest of mind and peace. I do not know what to do anymore because he is telling me that he loves me. With all he that he   put me through the embarrassment and the indelible scar he left on my heart, I don’t love him and I will never love him for anything. He went to my boyfriend and told him to back off from me. I am confused because I told my mum about this unexpected incidence but she thought i am lying without her doing anything to find out the truth. This is because the guy is my maternal cousin. I am dying in silence!

(Name withheld)

This is a serious matter that you really have to  explain how it happened, to your parents not only your mother. If you are really sure of this, tell your parents to call the two of you to  sit together and repeat all what you might have told your mother and how everything happened. It is then you will be able to prove your case. I know that the elders will apply equity and justice on the matter when they find out the truth unless they want to be injustice. However, there are a lot of questions for you to answer on this issue. But to solve this problem you still need to talk to your parents. Anyhow if your mother who supposed to be your confidant cannot believe you, then I must say that there is something fishy going on.  For the time being try to take record of everything going on between you, your cousin, boyfriend and your mother.  But I do not want to go deep because when it happened there must be someone who  knows about it apart from telling your mother. Good luck!

Author: by Yunus S. Saliu