My intimate friend

Lovelines
I am 23, a young man. I have a white woman friend with whom I am deeply close. She saw me and said she likes me. She told me that she would be coming to visit me here in The Gambia so that she can know me better.

I want Lovelines to teach me how to behave during her stay, how I can make her to marry me in future and how I can make her to love me more deeply than the rest of the guys that she might met.
Atteh

Young man, there is no special person who will teach how you will behave to make someone marry you or be interested in you than other guys she will come across but yourself.  According to the wise saying, ‘first impressions last longer.’ This means you have to be a cool headed gentle guy who is not arrogant, but honest to her and trustworthy.

You do not need to hide your feelings towards her and do not use a fake identity. Always remain who you are. Add a little humour to your discussions; be witty and romantic to her. But no matter what, avoid being over zealous. Avoid being demanding, and avoid chains of friend. No exaggeration, posing, and cooked-up stories. Be at the right place at the right time.

Do not act as if the whole of your life depends on her positive response. Make yourself relevant as much as you can but not falsely. Reiterate your intention to her for clarity and no braggadocio. What you want from the relationship will determine if she will marry you or not.
Good luck!

I am afraid of disappointments

Lovelines
I have dated a girl for about 3 years. I love her deeply. During the period of our dating, I got many disappointments from her. This forced me to check out for another girlfriend. However, she had admitted her mistakes.

I still love her and my present girlfriend. My thought is always on my ex. But I am thinking if I finally go for her, she may still disappoint me in future.
Mach

Since you keep thinking of her because you still love her, invite her for a meeting. Let her realize how much you love her and how you would have loved both of you to be together if she can change.

If what you considered to be disappointment is something correctable, sort things out with her. Also ask yourself questions: if you really know what you are doing, if she disappoints you in future, will you regret your marriage with her or not? Is she really worth going back to? What were the reasons for her disappointing you and her responses to you finding her out?

Additionally, you need to be truthful with you present lover. Don’t you think that maybe she deserves better than you are giving her. Good luck!

Should I stay or quit?

Lovelines
I’ve dated this guy for two months. A little while ago  I discovered that he’s still dating his ex. When I asked him about this, he denied it. I love him so much. We are expected to get married next month.

Now what should I do because the ex-girlfriend came to his house last week and spent 3 days. Also, he talks about this girl too much. I am tired of this relationship. What can I do, should I quit or stay because I am carrying his child?
Tash

I found it very easy to tell you that you have messed up your life in the name of marriage. It is easy for some guys to tell a woman that ‘I want to marry you’ or ‘I will marry you.’ Because it is the easiest way now they use to coax woman to sleep with them.

Your message reveals that it is not quite a long while after you met this guy that you got pregnant for him. The pregnancy should not have happened no matter how committed both of you were in the decision to get married. You should know that both Islam and Christianity are against premarital sex and pregnancy before wedding. To answer your question you cannot quit now unless he told you that he is not ready for the wedding anymore.

Because it is a decision you have both taken. Therefore talk to your parents and let them talk to his parents about this. Let’s not jump to conclusion, he can still be a good husband to you if there is someone to counsel him. This is the main thing that he needs now. Try to call Lovelines for more advice on this issue. Good luck!

He left but never calls

Lovelines
I am a young lady of. I am in love with a man but he has gone and never gave me a call for 8 months now.
Siho

Your text did not specify if the man is out of the country or in the country. So I don’t know where he has gone to. Try to call me or re-send another text to give details. Good luck!

I did not hear from him again

Lovelines
My boyfriend who has travelled 3 months ago called me only 3 times since he left. His sister is my best friend. Now I am dating another boy and I deeply love this new guy. But I don’t allow my friend to know anything about this new guy.
Angela

You sound selfish. However, I do not know the state of love between you and your travel boyfriend. But I think you should have given him more time - at least 6 months - because his sister is your friend. This is one of the reasons why some guys say ‘I can’t trust a woman’.

They believe immediately they turn away, the woman will take a u-turn. It is not easy to settle down when you travel out of your country. This is especially where you do not have someone to fend for you. Put yourself in your boyfriend’s shoe, would you be happy about that? Call for more information. Good luck!
Unethical

Lovelines
I am a teacher by profession. I was recently posted to one of the rural areas. A female student has fallen in love with me. Our relationship is gaining more weight but what should I do as my profession is against it?
Abdaraheem

I could not remember if there is any profession that is against love but I must say that there are job ethics that concern when and where to love. In reference to yours as a teacher (in the same school with a lady you love), you should show a good example. I will advise you to leave that school for another one if you want to continue to date that girl.

This is because you will not allow the girl to concentrate on her education. Moreover, it’d help to avoid preferential treatment, disrespect among the students and so on. It is better to eat around your table than on your table. Think about this and call for more explanation. Good luck!

She turns me down

Lovelines
I have been going out with a lady for over two years. I travelled out for over 3 months but when I came back I called her and she told me that she’s married. I don’t believe her.

I thought she’s angry with me because I did not tell her when I was travelling. Each time I call her she gives the phone to her friend. She does not reply to my text and she equally turned me away when I visited her.
Bakary

I am happy that you are able to discover what might have caused the problem between the two of you. I blame you for not informing her of your travelling. I know you might have your reasons. What I can suggest is you should try harder to talk to her face to face in order to apologize for your selfish act.

If she still turns you down use her friends. Yet if she refuses then it is a clear sign that she is tired of the relationship. Keep to yourself and remain good friends. She will get over it. If she is yours the arrow of love will strike her heart while Love’s wind will blow her to you. Good luck!

She’s one year older than me

Lovelines
There is a girl that is really attracted to me. But I am afraid to face her and say what is in my mind. Each time the girl speaks to me I am always trembling. She is 1-year older than me.  
Badou

What you lack is confidence. You have to be strong and confident each time you face her. Stop the panicking and negative thinking. Act like a mature and brave guy by allowing your mind to be free.

Before you see her again, try to watch some of the home videos. There are a series of them. Do not watch it for entertainment alone but try to learn one or two lessons from them. Good luck!

I can’t trust or love

Lovelines
I am a young man of 22. Since the gal I really love with all my heart betrayed me about 3 years ago, I have found it difficult to trust or love any girlfriend I have. I am always lucky to have gals that really love and care about me but I can’t trust or love them in return. I am used to the use and dump style. I do really not know what to do
Boy-B

Everything is determination and want. So take a decision today that ‘I want to love and trust because I want to be loved and love whoever loves and cares for me.’ Love and trust are something you must develop. So read more about love, trust and rules in one of the past editions of Lovelines. Good luck!

Parental advice

Lovelines
I am one of your keen readers. I want you to help me. My boyfriend is 2 years older than I am but my parents don’t want me to have boyfriend, especially my father. So please tell me: should I leave this boy or what because I love him?
Nabou

Your parents are quite right for not allowing you to have a boyfriend. Not that they hate you but because you are still too young to have love affairs as your primary concern when you still have a lot of years to do it. Dating should be a secondary issue to you. Let your education and ambition in life be your priority. Good luck!

I can’t find a serious girlfriend

Lovelines
I am a young man. Of course, a man many girls dream to have. Yet I can’t find a serious girl who can be with me without having another boyfriend. I have girlfriends but they do have other guys. I need a true lover who will only love me alone and not for money.
Adama

Ladies will always love you for money when you show them that you are a big guy or money man. Try to be yourself and stop going out with each woman that comes your way. Try to have choices before and make it a slow and steady game. You can only get the best when you are not showing off and displaying wealth. Good luck!

Romantic texts

Ebson
Honey, you are the angel sent down by God to make me taste the best part of life. Your love connects every tissue of my muscle and makes me stand strong on the ground.
 Ida

Fatou
I cannot stop thinking of your sweetness, kindness, openness, and your smiles of comfort. You will always shine in my face and my brain will always think of your words of trust
Suso-Berbertov

F-Ceesay
Always my heart feels and realizes the pious love we always dream together. You are something that even gold cannot afford.
Nesta

Prince Seba
A true love like you is like a computer. He enters your life, saves himself in your heart, and formats all your troubles and never deletes himself. No matter the condition. I still appreciate you as the one and only love of my life.
Priencess Seba

Maimuna
Happiness is something to placate the heart with. And sorrow is something you use to stick papers. I remain yours.
Jossy

Amadou
I have made the right choice because every girl vies for a man who is compassionate, for a strong man who can protect her, for an unselfish man with whom she would share her joys and desires. She looks for strong shoulders in a man to lean on and dream about.
Mama

NB: Send a romantic love message to your partner via Lovelines Romantic Corner.