In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Praise is to Allah and peace and blessing upon our beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAW).

In order for us to CLEARLY UNDERSTAND THE PRACTICAL REALITY OF POLYGAMY AS HAD BEEN EXPERIENCED with in the family set-up of some Muslims in the Name of Islam, we will first of all quote Islamic social scholars on a statistic that shows that: 1-out of 10 Muslim men practice polygamy and only 2 out of 10 Muslim men handle it in the exact ways as commands by Allah(SWT) in the Holy Qur’an and as instructed by the holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW).

This shows that 80% of Muslim men who practice polygamy handle it in a way far-away from being worthy of the name Islam. The Call is thus made for those who are ignorant of its rationale and laws in Islam under the Shariah to be acquainted with them”. (Jameelah Jones: Preface: first edition, polygamy in Islam).

Has polygamy failed us?

Whenever the issue of polygamy is raised, many other related questions are posed and the most of which should not have been the case had it not been for the lack of thorough understanding of the basic facts of the matter.

For instance, the question whether polygamy particularly in Islam, has failed us or not doesn’t stand, simply because most of the polygamy performed in the name of Islam had been proven to be totally unislamic. Secondly, polygamous Muslim families who have abided perfectly by the Islamic teachings have been highly successful in regard to the unity and cooperation between the various wives, the unity and affections among the children from the different mothers, beyond recognition.

And the just dealing of the husband or father between wives and their children, the general harmonious nature of the entire family set-up has been highly recommended.

Is Monogamy an alternative?

Again the question as to whether monogamy should be taken as an alternative to Polygamy in Islam does not stand, and that is not only because polygamy based on
Islamic teaching is generally successful, but also because monogamy in itself doesn’t provide a complete solution to social marital issues in general and it has in fact, failed us  by creating a lot of undesirable social problems which it did not provide solutions to and created a lot of complicated issues, frustratingly without directions or solutions.

Islamic social scholar SH Bilal Philips has a lot on that: “The question remains why a male-dominated society should be opposed to polygamy when such a large number of its married members practice a form of it by engaging in illicit or the so-called casual relationships…the fact is that institutional polygamy is vehemently opposed by some male because it would force men to fidelity.

It would oblige them to take socio-economic responsibility for the fulfillment of their polygamous desire and provide protection for women and children from mental and physical abuse. Some might argue that if the stigma of illegitimacy were removed the problem could be solved without having to resort to polygamy.

 However, every child has a natural desire to know its parents and the denial of that right often leads to serious psychological problems”.

(TA’AD-DUD FI-ISLAM: p: 6) Yet an important question worthy of asking here is: IF POLYGAMY IN ISLAM IS THE BEST WAY FORWARD, THEN WHY IS IT THAT MANY MUSLIMS WHO PRACTICE POLYGAMY FAIL TO PRACTICE IT THE RIGHT WAY AND WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OPPOSITIONS AGAINST POLYGAMY EVEN AMONG MUSLIMS?  

The direct answer to that is this: because of the naivety of the same “So-many Muslims” of the right Islamic approach coupled with the negative experience which had been wrongly attributed to Islam. This also can be explained in various ways, as the following:

(A)Lack of insight and narrow-mindedness

in dealing with the subject:

 SOME ISLAMIC SCHOLARS   OR PREACHERS WHO SEE THEMESELVES AS Authority in Islamic principles often attribute polygamy to be lawful in Islam without drawing a clear line between what is Islam and what is not as far as polygamy is concerned.

Because as a matter of fact poly gamy is practiced in various other societies and customs with different and contradicting definitions, while all of which are not the definition of polygamy in Islam.

Hence for others (A) POLYGAMY: is a practice of having two or more or wives at the same time.

(B)POLYGAMY: is a practice of having two or more Wives or Husbands at the same time.

(C) POLYGAMY: is an inhuman social marital practice where the very blood of the wife is shucked-out, only to be packed for another fresh blood continuously one after another.

(D) POLYGAMY: is a kind of unjust social law where the burning desire in some men to fulfill their sexual instinct for all type of women is made lawful.

In the above regard to declare bluntly that polygamy is lawful in Islam without a distinction will amount to ascribing to a serous kind of social evil and vices that are in fact, strongly forbidden In Islam.

(B) Unislamic intentions for Polygamy

Most often than not, most Muslim men only think about polygamy when they are in some conflict with their wives. Rather than turning to the Islamic solutions, just as is commanded by Allah in Al-Qur’an Surah An nisa’a 4:59

“If you fall into dispute about anything, take it back to Allah and the messenger (i.e. back to the Qur’an and the Sunnah) they would instead try to defeat the wife in doing something which the wife may not approve of and can’t do anything about, particularly marrying the second wife.

In the course of finding the second wife she is compelled to hate the new wife. This is the foundation of family division and disunity which is strictly forbidden and contradicts the spirit of marital union as revealed by Allah (SWT) in the holy Qur’an Surah al- Room 30:21

“and among his sign is this, that he created for you mates from among yourselves that you may live in tranquility with them and he has put love and mercy between your heart: verily in this are signs for those who reflect”.

Yet ,there still remains a lot that have not been mentioned in this article to prove the various ways in which Muslims misconstrue the Islamic teachings on polygamy  for selfish motives and if Allah so wills, a lot more shall be treated here in our subsequent reports on this subject, nshaa’ala.

We thus end today’s topic by making Dua for Allah’s blessing and wisdom in the ways we handle our marriage relationship Ameen.