At birth, did you get a manual as to ‘how’ to use that brain of yours? How to be happy, how to find and keep friends and how to find that ‘special’ person, suitable for you? Have you ever learned how to date? Why is it that some people are so good at dating and others aren’t? What are they doing different? Is it just because they are lucky? Or did they learn how to do it well? And, if so, is it possible for you to learn how to have more success when it comes to dating? How often do you examine what you do? How often do you sit down and think about what processes you use when it comes to the subject of meeting and getting to know another person?
Most of us are too busy to function in this world instead of taking the time to find out how we function and how we could function more effectively! The following tips are just a few taken from my book 'The Art of Dating'.

1. Ask powerful questions
Asking powerful questions is important in finding out about the other person. For example, you can use words such as what, where and how. These kind of words cannot lead to a simple yes or no answer. Instead they give the other person the opportunity to give a more comprehensive answer. Apart from that you may need to ask more specific questions at certain times. For example, if she says 'I'll call you soon' you may want to ask something like 'When should I expect a call'. Asking for more specific information will avoid misunderstandings!

2. Reality checks
Before you judge the other person, be aware that your beliefs and values are based on your reality, which doesn't mean your beliefs and values are right or wrong. We are all different and your date's beliefs and values may not match yours. Knowing and understanding this will make you more flexible and understanding of others, including your dates.

3. Avoid assumptions
Unfortunately, assuming is something we do a lot. So, instead of thinking 'She/he is probably doing this to blah, blah, blah...', ask! It's better to find out than to do guess work. And, if the other person doesn't seem to respond to you straight away, it doesn't mean that he or she isn't interested. Perhaps they just need to get to know you better before they demonstrate any kind of interest.

4. Build rapport
Rapport is the presence of trust, harmony and co-operation in a relationship. If you have rapport with a person you will make them feel like your ally, your partner.

You can create rapport by creating commonalitites! You can do this by matching their language, breathing, gestures, facial expression and voice.

5. Be confident
Confidence can open many doors for you. When you are confident people will have more trust in you and your abilities. Even, if you don't consider yourself to be a confident person....ACT AS IF YOU ARE!

About The Author
Evina Jacoba is a Life Coach and the Author of the book 'The Art of Dating'. She facilitates workshops for businesses and individuals and has been featured on various radio stations throughout Australia. Evina applies her knowledge from experiences and combines it with the NLP™ methodology. NLP™ involves the study of patterns that are created by the interaction of the brain, language and the physical body. It is a system which can be applied to create powerful changes in our lives. Evina lives spends time between Australia and the UK and is owner of Love-chef.com).
http://www.love-chef.com
Copyright © 2003 Evina Jacoba