A common question men ask is what do women really want?

They seem to say things like "I want a nice guy" and then they end up dating a complete jerk. If they don't go out with a jerk then they go out with the "bad boy". When a man asks me that question, I ask them why they feel compelled to have an answer to that.

Before a man can answer that question he first needs to be able to answer "what do I want in a woman?" Every man has a different set of beliefs, values, and preferences and he should really put some thought on how important they are to him. Using myself as an example, I'm at a point in my life where I don't want to be in a relationship.

So the #1 value I'm looking for in a woman right now is that she has to be fun and easy-going. Someone else might be looking for a woman that places higher value on things like family, communication, finances, etc.

Once a man has figured out what he really wants in a woman, then it makes it much easier for him to screen out the women that does not fit his criteria and he focus his time and energy on the ones that do. So we come full circle and get back to the common question that men ask me and that is "what do women really want?".

Every woman is unique and different, but over the years I've noticed some commonalities that they share. We are assuming that we are also talking about emotionally healthy women that are not dealing with a lot of personal issues. Here are some of the common things that women want?

1. Women want a man with a spine - A very common complaint I hear from women around the world is that it's hard to find a real man. What does that mean anyway? They are looking for a man who has his own opinion, who is not afraid to disagree with her, and a man who will stand up for himself and for her.

2. Women want a man with leadership skills - Whether it's going out for a night out on the town or in the bedroom, a woman wants a man who is not afraid to be the Alpha Male.

He's not afraid to lead. This does not mean that he acts controlling or jealous. On the contrary, a man who is either a natural leader or has honed his leadership skills because he has dated a lot of women, will know when and how to lead. A great way of leading is to give your date 2 to 3 options on what to do for that coming weekend and then letting her decide. For the first date, you should do what you like because this will help you screen her to see if she likes doing what you like to do.

3. Women want a man, not a boy - An attractive woman who is healthy and well-balanced does not want to date a boy.

She wants a man who has his own life, has goals, and ambition. He doesn't live with his parents; he has his own place, and does not have financial problems.

4. When she's ready she will want a man who can commit - When a woman begins developing feelings for you, she will let you know it. She will start talking about the future, either directly or indirectly. She might start saying things like "wouldn't our kids be cute?" or "wouldn't it be cool if we went to Hawaii next summer?”

When a woman makes forward-looking statements that hint about the future, then it's a huge sign that she wants to take things to the next level. Sure, some women casually date, but ultimately most women eventually want to settle down with someone. It's up to you to pay attention and listen to what she's really saying to you.

5. Women want a man with a healthy self image and style - Ever had an old girlfriend nag at you because you wore the same stupid baseball cap or maybe because you needed to trim those eyebrows of yours? Ever go to the shopping mall with a woman and she starts suggesting on what things you should wear? Attractive women want a man with style. It's obvious that women don't like slobs. Most men don't have a good sense of style which is why they should recruit a female friend or relative to go shopping with them. If that's not possible, simply going to a shopping mall and looking for the most attractive female clerk to help you can do the trick.

Having style isn't enough. You should also have a positive outlook toward life and your future. Women find that very attractive. No one likes a whiner or a complainer, so if you have a tendency to be negative you really should make an effort to get that handled.

Otherwise you might look back a few years from now and ask the same question "what do women really want?"