I read your last week edition of Loveliness and I was impressed with what I read. It will be my pleasure if you can take your time to see to what is giving me a sleepless night.

I am a boy of 22 in love with a girl who I can hardly sit down under 45 minutes without thinking about. We started this relation since June 2006 when we were staying together at the same town, but now there’s a long distance between us. That period we decided to get married come rain or sunshine. Somehow, we shortly disperse from the town but we always communicate via telephone, as many times as possible every day.

However none of our parents know about our secret engagement.  So, there came a day when I called her, and she asked, "Where is your girlfriend that you are living with?" I told her that I got no one. During the conversation, she told me boldly that she had a new lover and if I don’t believe she can let me talk to the boy. I refused and end the call. She called back with annoyance immediately and asked me why I rang off.

To avoid noise and the continuity of that topic I told her it is network problem. Since then onward no more call between us till a day when we met in a program. In that gathering, I tried to talk to her but she did not give a damn. This was followed by a surprise that shouldn’t be, I saw another boy hugged her romantically! I was very angry and almost went gaga.

I do not call likewise she. But to be frank, I really love her. It is now seven months; these days she beeps me over four times or thereabout while I later called and we chat nicely and laughed together like in the old times. Now I need your advice on what to do.

Nicolas

I do not know how old your girlfriend is but I know this is still a childish play between two of you. Not that you shouldn’t date; but let the date be a meaningful one that will bring progress to your future not retrogress.

A lady that is bold enough and want you to speak to her new lover boy when you are not at loggerhead will never take you to be anything. A serious lover (boy or girl) who still wanted a suspended relation to continue will not allowed another man to be in a close mood with her much less of hug in a romantic way that will attract the attention of others where the lover will see her.

What you should know is that she can’t still differentiate between love and like, friend and intimacy. Therefore, since you both have the opportunity to chat on the phone again try to let her understand the meaning of love and its attributes. Ask her whether she truly know the meaning of love, how to love at same time how to go about love which two of you need to learn carefully.

Let her know that it is hurtful to know your rival. That she wants you to talk to him is nothing but to show she did not love you. While her hugging him in your presence says that you have no place in her heart. So I want you to know there is no disguise, which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not.

You can’t do without thinking of her under 45 minutes is because her love’s radiance in your mind. Finally, she like you let me don’t say love but she still want to play some games before she finally attach to you or reach the final bus stop. Check out what she has in mind this time if still behave same way, do away with her and browse for another decent, respectful girl who know the meaning of love. Good luck!