For over 6 months now I have been dating a girl who told me she loves me with all her heart. In spite of the fact that I am a Rasta, she approached me and declared her interest and love for me. Before accepting her, I let her know who I am, and my financial status.

Moreover, I asked her if she carefully observe me before her love declaration since I am a Rasta and rough man. From my experience some girls are materialistic and I don’t want to fall prey. Her reply was "no matter what you are, I love and adore you." I accepted her with my heart because she was desperate and bold. We promised not to disappoint each other. She visited me on a few occasions but I never visited her once. We communicated regularly before the arrival of her mummy from abroad, but since the mother arrived communications between us is nothing to write about. When I call her handset it is always engaged. If I ask why she has not been calling me despite my not being able to get her on the phone she says ‘I am out of credit’ and some other mumbo jumbo talk that she knows I never believe. But I am having the feeling that she is seeing someone else.

I prefer to say goodbye to this relationship because I believe in the truth which is an everlasting thing on this earth. But does she love me or she is taking my love as filler for the emotional gaps in her heart, while seeing someone else, probably richer than me? Despite our promise, I am not satisfied with the way things are going on between us. I can’t continue to tolerate this  at my age, 27. I do not feel like marrying Gambiasn just to avoid trouble. I prefer to marry from outside the country.

Hassim aka M-D

Oh, it is a pity that two of you wanted to rock the relation that kicked-off in a grand style.

It supposed to be among the sweetest relationships this year based on how the blood of love floated in your veins when you started. Try to take it easy because sometimes ‘love, such as it is in society, is only the exchange of two fantasies, and the contact of two bodies.’ So take note that ‘love is eternal as long as it lasts.’

But I will like you to do a little assignment. According to your explanation, this girl loves you but she is only giving you flimsy excuses probably because of fear, indecision and choice. You truly let her know who you are but not what you are as you stated in your text. What I will like you to find out:

Try to know the type and condition of things between her and the former boyfriend, whether they are still dating or if she has a new lover boy.  I do not say you should turn into a woman’s detective and if yes, try to observe the difference between the guy and you, then weigh the differences. Don’t jump into conclusion that she is dating another guy until you are sure. That she stays long on phone or her line is always busy can’t determine that she is conversing with a lover.

Main task, try to know if the mother is about to stand against you or is the barrier. However, pay her a series of unarranged visits and try to observe the mother and other family members’ actions towards you.

She might reduce her communication with you because of the mother. If you really love her and accept her, don’t give up easily until you know the cause of her sudden change towards you. Your new plan to marry outside the country is not a guarantee of getting a good and perfect lover/wife but your ability to tolerate, endure, accept, and love.

Because "love is swift, sincere, pious, pleasant, generous, strong, patient, faithful, prudent, long-suffering, manly, and never seeking her own; for where so ever a man seek his own, there he fall from love," according to Thomas A Kempis. So you have to know that ‘if one judges love by the majority of its effects, it is more like hatred than friendship.’ Therefore, it requires far more genius to make love than to command armies. Think of this.

All you need now is to try as much as possible to study this lady and love her because it seem you do not love her enough probably because of her first move which you did not expect.