Lovelines: Without love relationship is a pain
Friday, February 29, 2008
How lonely are you during the Val? Loneliness is not a foreign word or thing to some matured guys and gals but, still to some that can not differentiate between their happy and sad moment when it come to love. You may have all that it take to be rich or all riches, pleasures with great capacity and bliss but within you, there is always the lurking shadow of been alone, which is loneliness.
Both the rich and the poor man who’s struggling, worshiper and non-worshiper all know what is loneliness. So when you are in the state of loneliness, what does your mind do? Can you tell? Your mind will start to think, imagine and develop high tension.
At that time many things will touch your mind like to turn on the radio or put in your favorite music, which you will not followed the lyrics or the beating, picking up a book for reading, try to work but all these will be done without concentration. Is it that I lie? Then try to observe your own loneliness. Because when the mind is aware of is own loneliness, it will run away and try to escape if it doesn’t want to be harmed.
So how do you escape from it? Take this for escape, whether into religious contemplation or going to a film house, all are exactly the same it is still an escape. But some men will decide to escape through alcohol.
Therefore a man that escapes through drinking is no more better than a man that remains in loneliness because soon or later he will be free from the hang over of the alcohol. So if there is no escape and struggle into the opposite, then the mind tends to condemn it according to the frame of its knowledge, but if there is no condemnation, then the whole attitude of the mind towards the thing it has called lovely has undergone a complete change. Yes or no?
Since loneliness is a state of isolation then the mind will enclose itself and do away from every relationship and anything to do with love and consensual sex while jealousy and imagination jealousy will crept in. At that stage the mind has known loneliness.
Do you know that loneliness can undergo transformation? Yes it can, when the mind refuse to create escape then that loneliness will undergo transformation and then become aloneness. It does not matter the world you use for the sake of grammarian. So there is no fear.
The mind that feels lonely because it has isolated itself though various activities is afraid of that loneliness. But if there awareness in which there is no choice, which means no condemnation-then the mind is no longer lonely but it is in a state of loneliness which there is no corruption, no process of self-enclosure. One must be alone, there must be that aloneness, in that sense loneliness is a state of frustration, aloneness is not, and aloneness is not the opposite of loneliness.
So, most of us are lonely, all our activities are the activities of frustration. The happy man is not a lonely man. Happiness is alone, and the action of aloneness is entirely different from the activities of loneliness.
We are trying to understand the problem of marriage, in which is implied sexual relationship, love, companionship, communion, obviously if there is no love, marriage becomes a disgrace, does it not? Then it becomes more gratification.
To love is one of the most difficult things, is it not? Love can come into being; it can exist only when the self is absent. Without love, relationship is a pain; however gratifying, or superficial leads to boredom, routine habit with all its implications. Then, sexual problems become all important. So, in considering marriage, whether it is necessary or not, one must first comprehend love.
Author: Yunus S. Saliu